Life as a Passer-by... Life is passing me by... (Part II)
sometimes i think i'm destined to be a passer-by... somehow, i alwayz appear b4 someone when she's in her most depressed moments... as a fren i alwayz try to help to my best of my abilities without thinking of asking anything in return... My
Encik in my army unit told me once... "when u lend ppl money, alwayz be prepared to never take them back even b4 u lent them"... in many wayz this does not apply to money also... love, caring, concern... anything tangible or intangible...
in time i'll
never believe there will be ppl loving me... not ever... most ppl only care and are concerned about mi becoz they are gratified of wad i've done... love and gratitude is separated by a Single line drawn between 2 areas... i dun believe there's a grey area... if u think about it, u'll also know y...
in some wayz, i happen to pass them on the street needing help... i help ppl wholeheartly to the extent it is easy to believe dat i have a motive helping them... i cannot say i blame them... but i just cannot help it... i cannot stand half-way measures... then should i not help ppl anymore??? i try to help them but in the end they just made use of me and throw me aside...
i feel so tired... how many more times can i help and get thrown away??? i dunno.....
some of the ppl i helped i grew to love them... but nothing ever works out... this is not to say i luv many at a time... i
WILL NEVER do dat... but one by one they juz treated me as something who is expendable... share with me anything and everything, but dun allow me to express myself... once i said something, they will turn away and walk off... leaving me to fend for myself... getting sick and tired... very tired of this now... izzit so hard to find the right one?
it's a pity i'm just too responsible liaoz... otherwise i'd have wrecked myself... i'd have given up on me long time ago liaoz...
Lost but not Found,
Yangming, Passer-by Passing by
N.B. if u wanna noe y i wrote things like this, come and ask mi my frens...