Yangming

2nd Post of the day.

Was slipping into melancholy mode just now when I decided I'm going to blog this. But after reading Pet's post and KennySia's post, I got really cracked up and don't feel so bad already.

Why am I melancholic? I think it's meanly due to tiredness. I have been slogging tuition without getting much in terms of rest lately. Tuitioning is not a big deal for me because I like kids a lot and I love teaching. The thing stressing me out is their results. No matter how low I charge the parents, I still take pride in teaching the child because it's a future I'm trying to mould now. I've seen and experienced bad teachers and I know how a teacher can affect a child's life.

How low am I charging you ask? I'm doing community service by tuition in a RC tuition center where they pay me approximately $2.50/= per student per hour. This 'compensation' is for transport, so I'm not really paid. My 2 private tuition students also receive a bill that's perhaps X times of that, where X is less than 5.

Hmmmm, but then again, money don't really trouble me at this moment. Their results worry me a lot more than whether I get enough money to buy a car or not. So what is it that depressed me? Seriously, I don't really understand as well.

I dunno why, but I seem to get the impression that I'm doing a lot, but accomplishing very little. Why do I say that? I think it's because I'm now slogging like mad, but I'm not getting closer to the goal I've set for myself 10 years down the road. I'm preparing the road that would lead me down that goal later in my life; there are set-backs, there are hardships, but I think I've prepared quite well.

The thing is, I'm not moving at all, while the deadline draws closer.

So, what on Earth have I been doing?

Oh well, I suppose being well-prepared is a virtue. I just hope that I'm not being well-prepared for something that will not happen.

Had a short chat with Belle just now. It reminded me of the times when we were chatting sometime back, when she was slogging with tuitions and I was enjoying my free life. Now it seems to be the other way around; she is enjoying life and I'm slogging tuitions like mad.

Due to my educational background, I seem to have more gal friends than guy friends (24 gal classmates in JC days, 18 gal CCA mates, only 5 other guys in each of the groups). But I still don't seem to understand what gals want. I don't understand what gals look for in a guy. I don't understand why my friends would be sad and talk to me about how bad their boyfriends treat them sometimes/all the time, but not doing anything about it.

So, is it really the case where "nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai?" (Gals only love Bad Guys)

9 out of 10 girls tell me they would prefer nice guys. I not nice mehz?

Can't understand them at all I think, but isn't that the fun part? =P

Or perhaps, the problem lies with me as usual, perhaps there must be something I should change about myself. Maybe I'm too jovial and people think I'm too "happy-go-lucky" to be serious about something like a relationship.

Sigh... So many things to do, yet so little time, so little motivation... Still must change Song of the Day somemore... Tedious work...

Okay bahz, think I stop blogging here. My train of thoughts are running haywire lately, can't even piece together a coherent thing to talk about. And I can't post pictures because the Hello program is screwed up. Haizz, blogging also hard without pics.

Cheers,
Yangming